Nanny Leslie

This picture kinda says it all! Anyone that can take what could be a stressful situation and turn it into a Kodak moment has a lot of patients and fun. Leslie has been watching Hailey two days a week since I've returned to work in the middle of October. Let me tell ya, this has been very exciting for me. Not only has she taken care of Hailey, but if she has time she will wash her clothes or our towels. I'm very grateful for the opportunity to have family care for my little bundle of joy! It's been amazing to see how maternal Leslie is and how well she's adapted to caring for someone that is so demanding. I think she's had a lot of practice dealing with so many crazy customers in the retail world. Taking care of a baby is probably the easiest task. Brian often comes home before I do from work to relieve Les from her nanny duties. I remember Brian laughing while telling me that he came home with Leslie laying next to Hailey, both on their backs, and Leslie reading a book to Hailey. My mom said that Leslie would call her with Hailey screaming wondering if she needed to try anything else to calm her down. Today, Leslie went to Hailey's 4 month doctor appointment. Hailey had to get shots and be poked and prodded by her doctor, which she is never excited about. Les has been a very good support! Thanks sis....Love ya :)

Emmy Lou

When I was little I really wanted to have another sister. I prayed and prayed for God to grant me a little sister. What I really wanted to do was dress her up like she was a doll. My sister Emily is 8 years younger than me. She was born on July 4th! I was so excited when she was born. My mom gave birth to all of us, except the twins, at home. I remember my grandma or dad waking me up in the middle of the night telling me that my little sister was born. It was pretty crazy to think that what I prayed for came true. All my siblings are unique in their own way and have beautiful souls. Emily is special. She has a personality of a firecracker, who hates sharing her birthday with everyone else in America, has the ability to light up a room, and overwhelm someone like my husband. Anyone who knows Em's has a story to tell about her. She's spicey in her own little way. She's a survivor through anger and madness. One of the things that I cherish about Emily is her ability to allow me to see things differently and not have the feeling of being judged or become defensive. Attached to this blog is a letter from Em's. She may hate me for posting it,but it was beautiful and people need to understand what a beautiful soul she is.
Hi Ceecee, so I always love our little random chats that last like an hour, there so wonderful... Anyways, after we talked I thought a lot about what you said, and about Hailey.For a while I worried a lot about you and not being able to get pregnant, but then I felt like it was all for a reason, and just like that the worrying stopped. I felt like God had made you wait, to teach you just what real patients and trust is and best of all, how much fun being disorganized really can be!So when Hailey is screaming, and you get that overwhelming feeling where you feel like you have to take control and fix the problem ASAP, just take a deep breathe, look into that wide open wailing mouth and giggle. Giggle at Hailey for needing and wanting you so much, and embrace her with a smile, embrace the organization that flew out the door!! Don't stress yourself out so much, and feel like your missing something, because that is the exact reason why God made you wait. You aren't missing a thing. It's the Caralee who works at top speed to fix a problem, or take someone elses stress and tries to make it your own in hopes of brightening a person's day. This Caralee, though a beautiful side of you, is I feel the reason you needed to be taught a lesson by God. And to have God make you wait for something so special is such a treat.The thought of it makes me laugh. Hailey doesn't cry while in the car with Brian, and Hailey will scream for hrs with Leslie, but the second you pick up that baby and hold her the way she's been waiting for, then suddenly she takes a deep breathe and looks in your eyes, gives you a smile, and like you said, puts her tiny little fingers in her mouth.God made you a mom, and God made you wait for it, for some reason. Motherhood is such a learning process, filled with happiness, dissapointment, nerves, laughter, hugs, smiles, and so on and so forth. Embrace it all Caralee. Don't think about the ppl around you and worry about what they may think about a screaming baby. Laugh, say, "yeah, she is a girl who knows what she wants, the problem is that she can't talk yet, but we'll find out soon enough." Then show us just how well you soothe her.At Kristy's shower, I could tell that you felt like the world was looking at you. That you felt like her crying was annoying other people, and irritating. Well, I'm here to say, as an observer. It was really magical watching you calm her down. Within seconds of me handing her over to you, she settled down, and the same with Nina. The thing that worried me, was that your face looked so worried, like you were thinking too much. OBVIOUSLY I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM! But if only you could have looked up and seen everyone watching you mother her... And now after typing that, the answer seems so clear.You are a problem solver, and you are a teacher, and you are a women who just went from organized to disorganized, a very complicated thing to have thrown in your face. Teach us Caralee. When mom holds her, and she cries, and she hands her off all mad. Take moms hand, look at mom, and teach her something. Prove to her that she taught you well, because that is what she is looking for. Say to mom. "You are Hailey's grandma, and it is important to me for Hailey to enjoy cuddling with the person that taught me so much, and helped me grow into a positive strong person." Then show her how you calm her down. Teach us Caralee! How are we suppose to ever know, unless you show us how? For example I was talking to Scotty, and he wanted me to talk to Jaiden, so I said stuff like, "hi Jaiden, it's auntie Emily, blah blah blah." You know what Scotty did, he told me, "no, no, no, Emily, you have to bark or growl, he doesn't know what your saying." So I barked and growled, and what I got in return was a laughing growling barking Jaiden. It was really special being taught by Scotty. He embraced his fatherhood and taught me how to speak to Jaiden, with a bark and a growl.Just try it. Next time your hanging with friends or what have you, and someone is holding Hailey across the room from you. The second Hailey starts crying for you, stay put Caralee. Look across the room, and say, "do you need help? If you cradle her like this... then she'll hopefully calm down, try it." And if they craddle her the way she wants, and the way you know it, and she stops crying, that person will look up at you and be astonished. And if Hailey continue's to cry, walk on over, and personally show us yourself, then let us try. Show us how much you've learned, the outcome could be a settling mind for you Caralee, and that satisfaction that you know best. Embrace it!

Daddy's Little Angel

Who says that baby's sleep when they're traveling in a car. Definately not mine! However, Brian says that she always sleeps in the car with him. This is a look at Hailey after driving from Stevens Point to Milwaukee. Notice the red eye lids, blotched eye brows, and puffy eye balls! Hailey has never been partial to sitting and being confined in her carseat. She screamed for an hour straight. I was hopeful a couple of times when she stopped, but she was only preparing her lungs for a louder and pitchier sound. She got a lot of exercise because her legs and arms were flailing. Her lungs have developed perfectly, but I am a bit worried about her throut. I did stop at a rest stop to relieve her tears and frustration. I took her out of the car seat, sat her on my lap, gave her a hug and kiss, and asked her if she's alright. She looked up at me with her baby blues, stuck her fingers in her mouth while making a cooing noise and gave me a BIG smile. Needless to say, we shortly started off on our adventure back home. Several seconds later, the crying began. Ugh.....Hailey has quiet a personality. She's very strong-willed and knows what she wants and will reach the limit to try and get it. If you would ask my mom or her Aunt Leslie to describe Hailey in one word, it would be "busy." She's constantly in need of being entertained and stimulated. She knows when no one is around her and loves hearing the sound of her noises. I don't believe that baby's get spoiled because you can never give them enough love and affection.

Hailey's three months!

Hailey is three months old! I dont think I'll ever get over how fast time goes by. I've returned to work, which has been difficult, but overall it's been a good transition. Hailey spends her time with Auntie Leslie two days a week and Grandma and Grandpa Hammerling the other two days a week. She also gets to play with cousins Anthony and Brooklyn during the week. I have Friday's off so that's when we get to catch up on missed time together! Hailey has become more noisy and continues to be interactive with her smiles. She's very nosey and likes to be held upright where she can see everything. She continues to enjoy her Baby Einstein activity mat and is starting to reach and grab toys that are hanging from it. She's been sleeping well at night in her big crib and still loves her baths. I think she will keep her eye color, which may turn out to be the same color as my dad's eyes. She's been to a lot of different places; the Zoo, parks, Concordia University to help out a motor development class, church, shopping, mommy and daddy's work, play dates with some of my friends kids (little Sam, Aoife, and Hannah), and of course visiting family in Stevens Point and Milwaukee. She continues to want and need everything her way and I have a funny feeling that may never change. My favorite thing to do with her is giving baths and dancing with her to music. Her favorite artist so far is Casting Crowns. Brian loves when she gets dressed up in Miami or Brewer outfits for gameday! She is very excited about her new cousin, Levi, in Australia and can't wait to play with Levi and Jaiden someday. She gets a lot of love from her cousins in Milwaukee; Aaron, Sydney, Andrew, Anthony, and Brooklyn. She is our pride and joy and we thank God everyday that she is in our lives.

The Inevitable

I have approximately a week until I have to return to work. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! It's amazing at how anxious I feel about this next step. The hardest part is knowing that Im choosing not to spend every waking hour with my daughter. I have to ask myself often, "Is it worth going back to work?" Nothing else really matters in life except your family. I shouldn't be complaining because Brian and I have been blessed with fantastic family that is willing to take time out of their life and care for Hailey. My sister, Leslie, is watching her two days a week and my mother-in-law is watching her the other two days a week and I don't have to work Friday's at this point in time. I couldn't imagine how I would be feeling if I had to drop her off at a daycare where you really don't know the level of supervision. I do understand that for most people daycare is the only option. My anxiousness doesn't primarily come from leaving Hailey with family, it comes from not being there when she's crying, laughing, talking, moving, and sleeping. What if she forgets my voice? What if she would rather go to them than me? Did I make enough impact in these last twelve weeks for her to know who I am? I'm her mom, I should be the one doing everything. These questions and feelings may sound crazy, but I'm being honest. For the mother's who feel like this and have to deal with similar situations, how do you manage? I'm assuming you just go on living life. I remember while I was pregnant thinking how easy it will be to go back to work. However, I never knew I could love someone as much as I do. Deep down I know that I will be okay, it's just getting over that "hump" and feeling good about my new normal.

The Parenting Club

WHO DOES SHE LOOK LIKE....

BRIAN OR CARALEE






Well, Hailey has been in our life for two months. I can honestly say that being able to play this role of parenting has brought so much joy and excitement in my life. It is true what they say that nothing else matter once you have children. I really feel that I've adjusted well to my knew "knew." There has been alot of suprises; difficulty with getting her to burp, the amount of diapers you go through, how often she wants to eat, and the biggest one is how resiliant I've become with the lack of sleep. I have a difficult time sharing her so when I go on outings where other people are going to want to hold her I have to prepare for that. I feel that she is my little miracle baby so I want to do everything and I dont want to miss anything. This leads to how difficult it's going to be to return to work. I don't know how I will manage this, but it's inevitable. Fortunately, I have family that will be watching her. Hailey has now doubled her birth weight so she is "chunky." She has a personality so I fear for when she's a teenager. She already tantrums when she doesn't want her seat belt strapped on. She's smiling and enjoys watching the lights change on her Baby Einsten mat. I love giving her baths, watching her sleep, and spending time together as a family.

A lost Poem

Among old pictures and cards was this poem. It was never initially meant for me, but It was given to me as a memory keepsake.

What is love?
No words can define it,
It's something so great
Only God could design it...
Wonder of Wonders,
Beyond man's conception,
and only in God
Can love find true perfection,
For love means much more
Than small words can express,
For what man calls love
Is so very much less
Than the beauty and depth
And the true sickness of
God's gift to mankind
His compassionate love...
For love has become
A word that's misused,
Perverted, distorted
and often abused,
To speak of "light romance"
Or some affinity for
A passing attraction
What is seldom much more
Than a mere interlude
Of Inflamed fascination
A romantic fling
Of no lasting duration...
But love is enduring
And patient and kind
It judges all things
With the heart, not the mind,
And love can transform the most commonplace
Into beauty and splendor
And sweetness and grace...
For love is unselfish,
Giving mor than it takes
And no matter what happens
Love never forsakes,
It's faithful and trusting
And always believing and honest
And never deceiving...
Yes, love is beyond
What man can define,
For love is immortal and God's gift is divine!

Until Next Time

Saying "Goodbye" is never easy and for some reason that word just seems like it's the end. I know it's not, but knowing that you may not see your brother for the next two years is pretty difficult to swallow. So I'll just see you next time! I'm used to my brother, Scotty, not always being around. Growing up he stayed with my grandparents during the summer so that my mom had less kids to care for while we were all out of school. He then lived in Colorado during the time that we would've been in high school together and then traveled Europe for a month. It was fun listening to all his adventures and stories. It allowed me to live vicariously through him because his adventures weren't anything I will get to experience. Even through all his experiences we've always remained to keep things normal and continue an awesome sibling relationship. The thing about Scotty living in Australia is that I can't just get a plane ticket and go visit him for the weekend. So the time will come when I'll have that feeling in the pit of my stomach meaning that I miss him and I can't do anything about it. It's a lot easier dealing with him living so far away because I've gotten to visit and see what his life is like. Scotty has always made a point to save money to come and visit and spend time with his family in the States since he's lived in Australia. I want to thank him for doing this! I hope there will come a time that I can do the same and make Australia my second home. Your always in my thoughts and prayers. Please don't lose sight of who you are and where you came from. I love you!

Hailey Nicole Hammerling

Hailey Nicole Hammerling was born on July 19th 2008 at 8:18am. Hailey was born a whopping 6 pounds 6 ounces and 19 inches long. I was a bit surprised because I was expecting to have a 7 1/2-8 pound child. She came a week early. She has a very mild mannered demeanor (unless she's hungry) and is strong. She lifts her head when she's on her stomach and really likes to grab onto your finger. She came out holding her umbilical cord, which almost put me into a cesection because her heart rate kept declining. Overall, I had a great labor, delivery, and so far my recovery has gone well. I have to thank the person who created the epidural, because that drug is amazing. I praise any women who had a natural delivery with out any help for the pain. So far I've learned that swaddling is very effective in getting an infant to sleep longer. I'm very excited to be a parent and feel blessed to have this opportunity. Having a child is such a miracle!

Influencial Adults

I'm a pretty indecisive person! So I often look to others for advice, suggestions, and feedback when it comes to making different decisions. However, that doesn't mean I will always listen. I don't believe that I got this way on my own so I would like to introduce you to adults in my life that have helped me become who I am.

Meet my "Pops!" Beyond all his crazy adventures in life, he's a very traditional man. He's always worked very hard and believes in earning what you want in life. I feel I have adopted my father's heart and soul. He's very sensitive, caring, and empathetic. My dad knows what it's like to be the oldest. He is one of 11 sibs!

Meet my dearest mother, Ms. Debby Beachy! Anyone that can have seven children and look the way she looks is amazing and has some good genes. Unfortunately, I didn't get those specific genes! She is very passionate about everything she does. She's extremely creative and when she wants to do something and sets her mind to it she will succeed at it. She's determined and this is probably the one thing that I've taken from her!

Here is my grandma Pletcher and her pup, Henry! I have a lot of my grandmother's attributes; same eyes and body structure. I spent a lot of time with my grandma growing up. She has a special place in my heart. She's always encouraged me to be who I wanted to be and the one the led me to be a social worker. Her faith in God is evident in everything she does through out her life. She is a strong-willed(very similar to my mother) individual and about the only one I know at her age that has kept up with our technological world and taught herself how to use the computer!

Brian's Parents: Mird(Pat) and Dird(Harry). They've adopted me as their daughter from the moment that Brian and I have been together (It will be about 11 years in August). They've always been supportive of our relationship and have always valued family coming first. They gave me Brian!

I come from a large extended family so their are many other individuals who have also played an important role in my life some way, some how. The hardest part of getting married was knowing that I no longer would have the "Winkelman" name. Being a Winkelman is something to be proud of because of the history. I have two step-parents, Nina and Tim, who took on the challenge of adopting seven kids into their life! Crazy, but somehow they've managed being successful with this challenge. Now I'm a Hammerling and I have the best In-Laws I could ever ask for! So, I see it as a "win-win" situation :)

Siblings

I'm the oldest out of seven of us; Me, Scotty, Leslie, Tom, Emily, Stephen and Phillip. Their is a ten year gap between the oldest and youngest. We were all born in Northern Indiana and the twins(Stephen and Phillip) were the only one's born in a hospital. My mom had a midwife for everyone else. I would say that the first 13 years of my life were the simplest. We lived in a lot of different houses, but the most memorable one was on a pig farm. We had a lot of land, which allowed us to be creative when playing. I can vividly remember the time I hated being the oldest(around my middle school years) so I attempted to spend a lot of time with friends. I really started to appreciate my role as a big sister towards the end of High School and when I moved on to college. We are very unique in our own ways. Neither one of us are alike, and after you get to know us you can guess what characteristics we took from our parents. I love my brothers and sisters very much and no matter where we are in our lives we will always have eachother. The other cool thing about my life is that I have two sets of parents as well as two step-brothers; Avery and Andrew. My parents divorced when I was 15 years old. My dad met Nina and then my mom met Tim and they all got married in 2001. It's different being the oldest of so many kids because what I experienced growing up is very different then what my twin brothers experienced.

THANK YOU!!!!!

Over the last couple of months, Brian and I have been showered with lots of gifts. We had a fantastic time celebrating with friends and family. I wanted to say Thank You to all of you! I can't wait to show her off :)

Best Friend and Lover

Meet my husband, Brian, also known as "B" or B-Pod." We met through a mutual friend when I was 18 years old. We've been together since then. We are completely different and often laugh at how we can answer a question two very different ways. The one thing that we agree on is how much we love each other and will always be there for each other no matter what. He has allowed me to be an independent thinker and decision maker. He has taken care of me since I was 18 years old; protected me, loved me, and challenged me. When we were both attending college at UW-Stevens Point we decided to take austronomy together. I've always been challenged academically and of course school came easy to him. I needed to get a good grade on my final exam so he quizzed me to death which got me the grade I needed. He first told me he loved me while in Aruba after six months of dating. I would say my favorite memory is our wedding. It was such a day of celebration and sharing that with lots of family and friends. Our challenging moments are few and far inbetween, but I think that's because we compromise and don't put a lot of pressure on having to come up with the perfect answer. A marriage is a growing relationship that is always being challenged by elements around you. As long as you have faith and trust each other things will work out. You may be reading this and question if I'm for real and may say, "just wait until you have a baby." We'll, bring it on!

Infertility Pains

I found out I was pregnant around Thanksgiving 2007. I woke up early in the morning to take a pregnancy test, which finally came out positive. This was after two years of trying including several months of fertility assistance. The first person I told was Brian, obviously, but then it was my mom. I was then forced to immediately tell my grandma or my mom would spoil the excitement for me. I honestly feel that I got pregnant after lots of prayer and booking a ticket to Australia to visit my brother, Scotty, that I missed dearly. I have been blessed with the best pregnancy ever! My first trimester was a breeze. I was able to fly across the world during this time and had never gotten sick. The only think I couldn't eat was pizza. I almost forgot I was pregnant, but was quickly reminded when I took a dive into the ocean and my stomach stretched out more than it should've. I never did that again. My second trimester was the hardest because I had some major growing and stretching pains. Now I'm in the third trimester and I'm awaiting the excitement of meeting our first child to be, Hailey Hammerling! I know you can never be prepared for parenthood, but at this point, Brian and I are ready for it. This is one of my favorite pictures with my sisters. They are very excited to meet her as well. The coolest feeling in the world is all the support that I've had while trying to get pregnant in addition to everyone's anticipation for her debut.