Hailey's three months!

Hailey is three months old! I dont think I'll ever get over how fast time goes by. I've returned to work, which has been difficult, but overall it's been a good transition. Hailey spends her time with Auntie Leslie two days a week and Grandma and Grandpa Hammerling the other two days a week. She also gets to play with cousins Anthony and Brooklyn during the week. I have Friday's off so that's when we get to catch up on missed time together! Hailey has become more noisy and continues to be interactive with her smiles. She's very nosey and likes to be held upright where she can see everything. She continues to enjoy her Baby Einstein activity mat and is starting to reach and grab toys that are hanging from it. She's been sleeping well at night in her big crib and still loves her baths. I think she will keep her eye color, which may turn out to be the same color as my dad's eyes. She's been to a lot of different places; the Zoo, parks, Concordia University to help out a motor development class, church, shopping, mommy and daddy's work, play dates with some of my friends kids (little Sam, Aoife, and Hannah), and of course visiting family in Stevens Point and Milwaukee. She continues to want and need everything her way and I have a funny feeling that may never change. My favorite thing to do with her is giving baths and dancing with her to music. Her favorite artist so far is Casting Crowns. Brian loves when she gets dressed up in Miami or Brewer outfits for gameday! She is very excited about her new cousin, Levi, in Australia and can't wait to play with Levi and Jaiden someday. She gets a lot of love from her cousins in Milwaukee; Aaron, Sydney, Andrew, Anthony, and Brooklyn. She is our pride and joy and we thank God everyday that she is in our lives.

The Inevitable

I have approximately a week until I have to return to work. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! It's amazing at how anxious I feel about this next step. The hardest part is knowing that Im choosing not to spend every waking hour with my daughter. I have to ask myself often, "Is it worth going back to work?" Nothing else really matters in life except your family. I shouldn't be complaining because Brian and I have been blessed with fantastic family that is willing to take time out of their life and care for Hailey. My sister, Leslie, is watching her two days a week and my mother-in-law is watching her the other two days a week and I don't have to work Friday's at this point in time. I couldn't imagine how I would be feeling if I had to drop her off at a daycare where you really don't know the level of supervision. I do understand that for most people daycare is the only option. My anxiousness doesn't primarily come from leaving Hailey with family, it comes from not being there when she's crying, laughing, talking, moving, and sleeping. What if she forgets my voice? What if she would rather go to them than me? Did I make enough impact in these last twelve weeks for her to know who I am? I'm her mom, I should be the one doing everything. These questions and feelings may sound crazy, but I'm being honest. For the mother's who feel like this and have to deal with similar situations, how do you manage? I'm assuming you just go on living life. I remember while I was pregnant thinking how easy it will be to go back to work. However, I never knew I could love someone as much as I do. Deep down I know that I will be okay, it's just getting over that "hump" and feeling good about my new normal.