Nanny Leslie

This picture kinda says it all! Anyone that can take what could be a stressful situation and turn it into a Kodak moment has a lot of patients and fun. Leslie has been watching Hailey two days a week since I've returned to work in the middle of October. Let me tell ya, this has been very exciting for me. Not only has she taken care of Hailey, but if she has time she will wash her clothes or our towels. I'm very grateful for the opportunity to have family care for my little bundle of joy! It's been amazing to see how maternal Leslie is and how well she's adapted to caring for someone that is so demanding. I think she's had a lot of practice dealing with so many crazy customers in the retail world. Taking care of a baby is probably the easiest task. Brian often comes home before I do from work to relieve Les from her nanny duties. I remember Brian laughing while telling me that he came home with Leslie laying next to Hailey, both on their backs, and Leslie reading a book to Hailey. My mom said that Leslie would call her with Hailey screaming wondering if she needed to try anything else to calm her down. Today, Leslie went to Hailey's 4 month doctor appointment. Hailey had to get shots and be poked and prodded by her doctor, which she is never excited about. Les has been a very good support! Thanks sis....Love ya :)

Emmy Lou

When I was little I really wanted to have another sister. I prayed and prayed for God to grant me a little sister. What I really wanted to do was dress her up like she was a doll. My sister Emily is 8 years younger than me. She was born on July 4th! I was so excited when she was born. My mom gave birth to all of us, except the twins, at home. I remember my grandma or dad waking me up in the middle of the night telling me that my little sister was born. It was pretty crazy to think that what I prayed for came true. All my siblings are unique in their own way and have beautiful souls. Emily is special. She has a personality of a firecracker, who hates sharing her birthday with everyone else in America, has the ability to light up a room, and overwhelm someone like my husband. Anyone who knows Em's has a story to tell about her. She's spicey in her own little way. She's a survivor through anger and madness. One of the things that I cherish about Emily is her ability to allow me to see things differently and not have the feeling of being judged or become defensive. Attached to this blog is a letter from Em's. She may hate me for posting it,but it was beautiful and people need to understand what a beautiful soul she is.
Hi Ceecee, so I always love our little random chats that last like an hour, there so wonderful... Anyways, after we talked I thought a lot about what you said, and about Hailey.For a while I worried a lot about you and not being able to get pregnant, but then I felt like it was all for a reason, and just like that the worrying stopped. I felt like God had made you wait, to teach you just what real patients and trust is and best of all, how much fun being disorganized really can be!So when Hailey is screaming, and you get that overwhelming feeling where you feel like you have to take control and fix the problem ASAP, just take a deep breathe, look into that wide open wailing mouth and giggle. Giggle at Hailey for needing and wanting you so much, and embrace her with a smile, embrace the organization that flew out the door!! Don't stress yourself out so much, and feel like your missing something, because that is the exact reason why God made you wait. You aren't missing a thing. It's the Caralee who works at top speed to fix a problem, or take someone elses stress and tries to make it your own in hopes of brightening a person's day. This Caralee, though a beautiful side of you, is I feel the reason you needed to be taught a lesson by God. And to have God make you wait for something so special is such a treat.The thought of it makes me laugh. Hailey doesn't cry while in the car with Brian, and Hailey will scream for hrs with Leslie, but the second you pick up that baby and hold her the way she's been waiting for, then suddenly she takes a deep breathe and looks in your eyes, gives you a smile, and like you said, puts her tiny little fingers in her mouth.God made you a mom, and God made you wait for it, for some reason. Motherhood is such a learning process, filled with happiness, dissapointment, nerves, laughter, hugs, smiles, and so on and so forth. Embrace it all Caralee. Don't think about the ppl around you and worry about what they may think about a screaming baby. Laugh, say, "yeah, she is a girl who knows what she wants, the problem is that she can't talk yet, but we'll find out soon enough." Then show us just how well you soothe her.At Kristy's shower, I could tell that you felt like the world was looking at you. That you felt like her crying was annoying other people, and irritating. Well, I'm here to say, as an observer. It was really magical watching you calm her down. Within seconds of me handing her over to you, she settled down, and the same with Nina. The thing that worried me, was that your face looked so worried, like you were thinking too much. OBVIOUSLY I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM! But if only you could have looked up and seen everyone watching you mother her... And now after typing that, the answer seems so clear.You are a problem solver, and you are a teacher, and you are a women who just went from organized to disorganized, a very complicated thing to have thrown in your face. Teach us Caralee. When mom holds her, and she cries, and she hands her off all mad. Take moms hand, look at mom, and teach her something. Prove to her that she taught you well, because that is what she is looking for. Say to mom. "You are Hailey's grandma, and it is important to me for Hailey to enjoy cuddling with the person that taught me so much, and helped me grow into a positive strong person." Then show her how you calm her down. Teach us Caralee! How are we suppose to ever know, unless you show us how? For example I was talking to Scotty, and he wanted me to talk to Jaiden, so I said stuff like, "hi Jaiden, it's auntie Emily, blah blah blah." You know what Scotty did, he told me, "no, no, no, Emily, you have to bark or growl, he doesn't know what your saying." So I barked and growled, and what I got in return was a laughing growling barking Jaiden. It was really special being taught by Scotty. He embraced his fatherhood and taught me how to speak to Jaiden, with a bark and a growl.Just try it. Next time your hanging with friends or what have you, and someone is holding Hailey across the room from you. The second Hailey starts crying for you, stay put Caralee. Look across the room, and say, "do you need help? If you cradle her like this... then she'll hopefully calm down, try it." And if they craddle her the way she wants, and the way you know it, and she stops crying, that person will look up at you and be astonished. And if Hailey continue's to cry, walk on over, and personally show us yourself, then let us try. Show us how much you've learned, the outcome could be a settling mind for you Caralee, and that satisfaction that you know best. Embrace it!

Daddy's Little Angel

Who says that baby's sleep when they're traveling in a car. Definately not mine! However, Brian says that she always sleeps in the car with him. This is a look at Hailey after driving from Stevens Point to Milwaukee. Notice the red eye lids, blotched eye brows, and puffy eye balls! Hailey has never been partial to sitting and being confined in her carseat. She screamed for an hour straight. I was hopeful a couple of times when she stopped, but she was only preparing her lungs for a louder and pitchier sound. She got a lot of exercise because her legs and arms were flailing. Her lungs have developed perfectly, but I am a bit worried about her throut. I did stop at a rest stop to relieve her tears and frustration. I took her out of the car seat, sat her on my lap, gave her a hug and kiss, and asked her if she's alright. She looked up at me with her baby blues, stuck her fingers in her mouth while making a cooing noise and gave me a BIG smile. Needless to say, we shortly started off on our adventure back home. Several seconds later, the crying began. Ugh.....Hailey has quiet a personality. She's very strong-willed and knows what she wants and will reach the limit to try and get it. If you would ask my mom or her Aunt Leslie to describe Hailey in one word, it would be "busy." She's constantly in need of being entertained and stimulated. She knows when no one is around her and loves hearing the sound of her noises. I don't believe that baby's get spoiled because you can never give them enough love and affection.

Hailey's three months!

Hailey is three months old! I dont think I'll ever get over how fast time goes by. I've returned to work, which has been difficult, but overall it's been a good transition. Hailey spends her time with Auntie Leslie two days a week and Grandma and Grandpa Hammerling the other two days a week. She also gets to play with cousins Anthony and Brooklyn during the week. I have Friday's off so that's when we get to catch up on missed time together! Hailey has become more noisy and continues to be interactive with her smiles. She's very nosey and likes to be held upright where she can see everything. She continues to enjoy her Baby Einstein activity mat and is starting to reach and grab toys that are hanging from it. She's been sleeping well at night in her big crib and still loves her baths. I think she will keep her eye color, which may turn out to be the same color as my dad's eyes. She's been to a lot of different places; the Zoo, parks, Concordia University to help out a motor development class, church, shopping, mommy and daddy's work, play dates with some of my friends kids (little Sam, Aoife, and Hannah), and of course visiting family in Stevens Point and Milwaukee. She continues to want and need everything her way and I have a funny feeling that may never change. My favorite thing to do with her is giving baths and dancing with her to music. Her favorite artist so far is Casting Crowns. Brian loves when she gets dressed up in Miami or Brewer outfits for gameday! She is very excited about her new cousin, Levi, in Australia and can't wait to play with Levi and Jaiden someday. She gets a lot of love from her cousins in Milwaukee; Aaron, Sydney, Andrew, Anthony, and Brooklyn. She is our pride and joy and we thank God everyday that she is in our lives.

The Inevitable

I have approximately a week until I have to return to work. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! It's amazing at how anxious I feel about this next step. The hardest part is knowing that Im choosing not to spend every waking hour with my daughter. I have to ask myself often, "Is it worth going back to work?" Nothing else really matters in life except your family. I shouldn't be complaining because Brian and I have been blessed with fantastic family that is willing to take time out of their life and care for Hailey. My sister, Leslie, is watching her two days a week and my mother-in-law is watching her the other two days a week and I don't have to work Friday's at this point in time. I couldn't imagine how I would be feeling if I had to drop her off at a daycare where you really don't know the level of supervision. I do understand that for most people daycare is the only option. My anxiousness doesn't primarily come from leaving Hailey with family, it comes from not being there when she's crying, laughing, talking, moving, and sleeping. What if she forgets my voice? What if she would rather go to them than me? Did I make enough impact in these last twelve weeks for her to know who I am? I'm her mom, I should be the one doing everything. These questions and feelings may sound crazy, but I'm being honest. For the mother's who feel like this and have to deal with similar situations, how do you manage? I'm assuming you just go on living life. I remember while I was pregnant thinking how easy it will be to go back to work. However, I never knew I could love someone as much as I do. Deep down I know that I will be okay, it's just getting over that "hump" and feeling good about my new normal.

The Parenting Club

WHO DOES SHE LOOK LIKE....

BRIAN OR CARALEE






Well, Hailey has been in our life for two months. I can honestly say that being able to play this role of parenting has brought so much joy and excitement in my life. It is true what they say that nothing else matter once you have children. I really feel that I've adjusted well to my knew "knew." There has been alot of suprises; difficulty with getting her to burp, the amount of diapers you go through, how often she wants to eat, and the biggest one is how resiliant I've become with the lack of sleep. I have a difficult time sharing her so when I go on outings where other people are going to want to hold her I have to prepare for that. I feel that she is my little miracle baby so I want to do everything and I dont want to miss anything. This leads to how difficult it's going to be to return to work. I don't know how I will manage this, but it's inevitable. Fortunately, I have family that will be watching her. Hailey has now doubled her birth weight so she is "chunky." She has a personality so I fear for when she's a teenager. She already tantrums when she doesn't want her seat belt strapped on. She's smiling and enjoys watching the lights change on her Baby Einsten mat. I love giving her baths, watching her sleep, and spending time together as a family.

A lost Poem

Among old pictures and cards was this poem. It was never initially meant for me, but It was given to me as a memory keepsake.

What is love?
No words can define it,
It's something so great
Only God could design it...
Wonder of Wonders,
Beyond man's conception,
and only in God
Can love find true perfection,
For love means much more
Than small words can express,
For what man calls love
Is so very much less
Than the beauty and depth
And the true sickness of
God's gift to mankind
His compassionate love...
For love has become
A word that's misused,
Perverted, distorted
and often abused,
To speak of "light romance"
Or some affinity for
A passing attraction
What is seldom much more
Than a mere interlude
Of Inflamed fascination
A romantic fling
Of no lasting duration...
But love is enduring
And patient and kind
It judges all things
With the heart, not the mind,
And love can transform the most commonplace
Into beauty and splendor
And sweetness and grace...
For love is unselfish,
Giving mor than it takes
And no matter what happens
Love never forsakes,
It's faithful and trusting
And always believing and honest
And never deceiving...
Yes, love is beyond
What man can define,
For love is immortal and God's gift is divine!