Hailey's three months!

Hailey is three months old! I dont think I'll ever get over how fast time goes by. I've returned to work, which has been difficult, but overall it's been a good transition. Hailey spends her time with Auntie Leslie two days a week and Grandma and Grandpa Hammerling the other two days a week. She also gets to play with cousins Anthony and Brooklyn during the week. I have Friday's off so that's when we get to catch up on missed time together! Hailey has become more noisy and continues to be interactive with her smiles. She's very nosey and likes to be held upright where she can see everything. She continues to enjoy her Baby Einstein activity mat and is starting to reach and grab toys that are hanging from it. She's been sleeping well at night in her big crib and still loves her baths. I think she will keep her eye color, which may turn out to be the same color as my dad's eyes. She's been to a lot of different places; the Zoo, parks, Concordia University to help out a motor development class, church, shopping, mommy and daddy's work, play dates with some of my friends kids (little Sam, Aoife, and Hannah), and of course visiting family in Stevens Point and Milwaukee. She continues to want and need everything her way and I have a funny feeling that may never change. My favorite thing to do with her is giving baths and dancing with her to music. Her favorite artist so far is Casting Crowns. Brian loves when she gets dressed up in Miami or Brewer outfits for gameday! She is very excited about her new cousin, Levi, in Australia and can't wait to play with Levi and Jaiden someday. She gets a lot of love from her cousins in Milwaukee; Aaron, Sydney, Andrew, Anthony, and Brooklyn. She is our pride and joy and we thank God everyday that she is in our lives.

The Inevitable

I have approximately a week until I have to return to work. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! It's amazing at how anxious I feel about this next step. The hardest part is knowing that Im choosing not to spend every waking hour with my daughter. I have to ask myself often, "Is it worth going back to work?" Nothing else really matters in life except your family. I shouldn't be complaining because Brian and I have been blessed with fantastic family that is willing to take time out of their life and care for Hailey. My sister, Leslie, is watching her two days a week and my mother-in-law is watching her the other two days a week and I don't have to work Friday's at this point in time. I couldn't imagine how I would be feeling if I had to drop her off at a daycare where you really don't know the level of supervision. I do understand that for most people daycare is the only option. My anxiousness doesn't primarily come from leaving Hailey with family, it comes from not being there when she's crying, laughing, talking, moving, and sleeping. What if she forgets my voice? What if she would rather go to them than me? Did I make enough impact in these last twelve weeks for her to know who I am? I'm her mom, I should be the one doing everything. These questions and feelings may sound crazy, but I'm being honest. For the mother's who feel like this and have to deal with similar situations, how do you manage? I'm assuming you just go on living life. I remember while I was pregnant thinking how easy it will be to go back to work. However, I never knew I could love someone as much as I do. Deep down I know that I will be okay, it's just getting over that "hump" and feeling good about my new normal.

The Parenting Club

WHO DOES SHE LOOK LIKE....

BRIAN OR CARALEE






Well, Hailey has been in our life for two months. I can honestly say that being able to play this role of parenting has brought so much joy and excitement in my life. It is true what they say that nothing else matter once you have children. I really feel that I've adjusted well to my knew "knew." There has been alot of suprises; difficulty with getting her to burp, the amount of diapers you go through, how often she wants to eat, and the biggest one is how resiliant I've become with the lack of sleep. I have a difficult time sharing her so when I go on outings where other people are going to want to hold her I have to prepare for that. I feel that she is my little miracle baby so I want to do everything and I dont want to miss anything. This leads to how difficult it's going to be to return to work. I don't know how I will manage this, but it's inevitable. Fortunately, I have family that will be watching her. Hailey has now doubled her birth weight so she is "chunky." She has a personality so I fear for when she's a teenager. She already tantrums when she doesn't want her seat belt strapped on. She's smiling and enjoys watching the lights change on her Baby Einsten mat. I love giving her baths, watching her sleep, and spending time together as a family.

A lost Poem

Among old pictures and cards was this poem. It was never initially meant for me, but It was given to me as a memory keepsake.

What is love?
No words can define it,
It's something so great
Only God could design it...
Wonder of Wonders,
Beyond man's conception,
and only in God
Can love find true perfection,
For love means much more
Than small words can express,
For what man calls love
Is so very much less
Than the beauty and depth
And the true sickness of
God's gift to mankind
His compassionate love...
For love has become
A word that's misused,
Perverted, distorted
and often abused,
To speak of "light romance"
Or some affinity for
A passing attraction
What is seldom much more
Than a mere interlude
Of Inflamed fascination
A romantic fling
Of no lasting duration...
But love is enduring
And patient and kind
It judges all things
With the heart, not the mind,
And love can transform the most commonplace
Into beauty and splendor
And sweetness and grace...
For love is unselfish,
Giving mor than it takes
And no matter what happens
Love never forsakes,
It's faithful and trusting
And always believing and honest
And never deceiving...
Yes, love is beyond
What man can define,
For love is immortal and God's gift is divine!

Until Next Time

Saying "Goodbye" is never easy and for some reason that word just seems like it's the end. I know it's not, but knowing that you may not see your brother for the next two years is pretty difficult to swallow. So I'll just see you next time! I'm used to my brother, Scotty, not always being around. Growing up he stayed with my grandparents during the summer so that my mom had less kids to care for while we were all out of school. He then lived in Colorado during the time that we would've been in high school together and then traveled Europe for a month. It was fun listening to all his adventures and stories. It allowed me to live vicariously through him because his adventures weren't anything I will get to experience. Even through all his experiences we've always remained to keep things normal and continue an awesome sibling relationship. The thing about Scotty living in Australia is that I can't just get a plane ticket and go visit him for the weekend. So the time will come when I'll have that feeling in the pit of my stomach meaning that I miss him and I can't do anything about it. It's a lot easier dealing with him living so far away because I've gotten to visit and see what his life is like. Scotty has always made a point to save money to come and visit and spend time with his family in the States since he's lived in Australia. I want to thank him for doing this! I hope there will come a time that I can do the same and make Australia my second home. Your always in my thoughts and prayers. Please don't lose sight of who you are and where you came from. I love you!

Hailey Nicole Hammerling

Hailey Nicole Hammerling was born on July 19th 2008 at 8:18am. Hailey was born a whopping 6 pounds 6 ounces and 19 inches long. I was a bit surprised because I was expecting to have a 7 1/2-8 pound child. She came a week early. She has a very mild mannered demeanor (unless she's hungry) and is strong. She lifts her head when she's on her stomach and really likes to grab onto your finger. She came out holding her umbilical cord, which almost put me into a cesection because her heart rate kept declining. Overall, I had a great labor, delivery, and so far my recovery has gone well. I have to thank the person who created the epidural, because that drug is amazing. I praise any women who had a natural delivery with out any help for the pain. So far I've learned that swaddling is very effective in getting an infant to sleep longer. I'm very excited to be a parent and feel blessed to have this opportunity. Having a child is such a miracle!

Influencial Adults

I'm a pretty indecisive person! So I often look to others for advice, suggestions, and feedback when it comes to making different decisions. However, that doesn't mean I will always listen. I don't believe that I got this way on my own so I would like to introduce you to adults in my life that have helped me become who I am.

Meet my "Pops!" Beyond all his crazy adventures in life, he's a very traditional man. He's always worked very hard and believes in earning what you want in life. I feel I have adopted my father's heart and soul. He's very sensitive, caring, and empathetic. My dad knows what it's like to be the oldest. He is one of 11 sibs!

Meet my dearest mother, Ms. Debby Beachy! Anyone that can have seven children and look the way she looks is amazing and has some good genes. Unfortunately, I didn't get those specific genes! She is very passionate about everything she does. She's extremely creative and when she wants to do something and sets her mind to it she will succeed at it. She's determined and this is probably the one thing that I've taken from her!

Here is my grandma Pletcher and her pup, Henry! I have a lot of my grandmother's attributes; same eyes and body structure. I spent a lot of time with my grandma growing up. She has a special place in my heart. She's always encouraged me to be who I wanted to be and the one the led me to be a social worker. Her faith in God is evident in everything she does through out her life. She is a strong-willed(very similar to my mother) individual and about the only one I know at her age that has kept up with our technological world and taught herself how to use the computer!

Brian's Parents: Mird(Pat) and Dird(Harry). They've adopted me as their daughter from the moment that Brian and I have been together (It will be about 11 years in August). They've always been supportive of our relationship and have always valued family coming first. They gave me Brian!

I come from a large extended family so their are many other individuals who have also played an important role in my life some way, some how. The hardest part of getting married was knowing that I no longer would have the "Winkelman" name. Being a Winkelman is something to be proud of because of the history. I have two step-parents, Nina and Tim, who took on the challenge of adopting seven kids into their life! Crazy, but somehow they've managed being successful with this challenge. Now I'm a Hammerling and I have the best In-Laws I could ever ask for! So, I see it as a "win-win" situation :)